Reply: What you cannot undo

My youngest sis recently passed. I still can't forgive myself for what I made her do for me when we were kids.

When I was around 6, our driver would make me sit on his nude lap. Fondle me and rub himself on my back. Sometimes he would suck

So when I was like fourteen, I messed around with my chubby ten year old girl cousin a bunch of times and got away with it thanks to her keeping her mouth shut about all of it.

When I was about 14 my maybe 9 yr old sister used to like to sit on my lap.  She often did it with a skirt or nightie on and no panties.  At some point I was fingering her and she liked the way it felt so I continued for some time, maybe a few weeks.
Eventually I felt like I had to have it and one afternoon when there was no one else home I took her downstairs to the basement and fingered her and then got my dick inside her tight little pussy.  I didn't last more than a few strokes and blew my young load in her.
Afterwards I was scared at what I'd done and I gave her a little gift and told her that no matter what, we should never do it again.
I was also scared that she could become pregnant but obviously that was completely wrong on my part.
Eventually I kind of forgot about it and she has never mentioned it at all and we get along great like any regular brother and sister.  I don't know if she ever told anyone about it but I don't think so.

When I was in my very early teens, I engaged sexually with each of my younger sisters several times without our parents finding out. I know I shouldn't of done any of it and I carry the guilt and shame. My sisters both obviously avoid me now as adults. 

As a child my sister and I were coerced into participating in making several porn vids and other sexual activities on board sailboats in international waters.
Our parents and most of the adults got away with all of it because of their political connections both in the past and most definitely in the present. As long as those files are not revealed they are safe and my sibling and I live in a hell made of memories.