going along with sex with another man

I feel like I'm going to hell. I don't understand why I do what I do. I am not gay, not in that sense. I need sex with men. Since I don't know when, and whatever it is I always adopt the passive or bottom role. I don't go out searching for a man, it is spontaneous when it happens. But if it happens, I go along with it. A naked man, with an erection, who I know is going to fuck me. He owns me, I do what I need to do for him to fuck me. 

I don't think about it afterwards. I go on with my day, my job. Until the next time. When a man looks at me that way and I'm in the mood for a man. I make love to his dick, I obey, I get fucked. And then it is another day.