I turn sixty this year. I am a lesbian. But I only really understood that after I turned thirty. I grew up with four sisters. My mother pushed us all into getting married really young, before twenty. Once high school was over, you get married. In her world a woman needed to get married, have kids, and spend the rest of her life sucking a man's dick. No, I mean it, her way of telling us to obey and submit was to tell us to suck his dick. That was all ok if you had something for dick, but what about me, I can't say that I ever had a desire for being with a man, much less suck his dick. But I got married anyways at 19.
The man I married was already out of college and had a career. So good choice there. I fought him on my wedding night, and locked myself in the bathroom. Bad move. He had no choice but to rape me, and he did. When I told my mother she told me never to refuse your husband, you were always an open door, so I deserved being raped. At that time it was legal for a man to rape his wife. It was called being a dominant man.
In the beginning, in those years right after I got married, 90% of sex was with him on my back. I mistakenly thought that it made it more difficult for a man, but I was wrong, it turned out that access to your vagina from behind with your butt lifted made it much easier and the man could go in deep up against the wall. I also learned that being spread like that by force actually got you aroused faster and in that position face down, and your legs open, it also made it easier for him to shoot straight up into your cervix. That gets you pregnant easier. OK, I liked being forced, being carried kicking and screaming and thrown face down on the bed, I was wet before he spread my legs.
And that's the part I don't understand about being a lesbian. All that girl stuff, all the time together, all that kissing, burying my face between her breasts, her hot tongue, all that didn't make up for being raped at night. Spanked, raped, forced swallowing cum, and being pregnant. Not lesbian, but a man has to be a man with a lesbian wife. A good spanking and a lecture made me pee in my pants.
Shit, I'm sixty, I miss it so much. This woman I'm with, she's all talk, no action.
