In my teens I lived with an uncle. He owned and operated a city furniture outlet. Looking through boxes at the furniture store I found some dirty magazines of naked men kissing and doing naughty things. I sat and went through the magazines and only realized how long I had been there when I came in my pants with a great big wet spot. I didn't tell my uncle about finding the magazines, and whenever I was there which was usually on Saturdays, I would sneak into that storage rooms and go through a magazine.
At night at home I masturbated constantly, dreaming of those pictures, seeing myself on my knees worshipping a man and holding onto his cock. I wanted desperately for a man to fuck me.
When I got older I got a job as a busboy at a restaurant. The cook was a dirty old man and I went into the bathroom with him. I sucked on his cock and let him kiss me. It wasn't but a few more days that he fucked me. I masturbated constantly and always dreamt of his cock and how he fucked me.
I suppose that's also the time that I really came to terms that I was a queer, a sissy, and one day I would be one of those kissing a man in an alley.