Stupid HR rules take the fun out of everything

I am here because of my foul mouth. I have had a foul mouth since before I was a teen. I got in trouble at work because I called this woman a bitch, she is, but you aren't supposed to use that language. And she is the Director of HR, so what more do I need to say. I have to go to 8 hours of sensitivity training. Most of it is online, but 2 hours are in person. I am on probation because when I was told to apologize I said 'I'm sorry your a bitch'. 

My boss, the man upstairs, told me in confidence that she is a bitch. If you want a definition of a bitch, it's her. He also pulled me up to him and asked me if I was a bitch or a good little girl. He told me that he had been keeping an eye out for me and he thinks the best thing for me is to just stay home and do his laundry and keep him warm at night. He kissed me hard on the lips, held me tight against him so I couldn't move, and before he let me go he ran his hand across my butt. That's when he told me he was taking me home with him over the weekend.

I have a case of inappropriate advances. I have a case of a superior intimidating a staff member. I have a case of being sexually harassed. But then he wouldn't take me home to do his laundry and keep his bed warm. After he has sex with me, which is often enough, he likes me to lay beside him or lay on his chest.  He likes to feel me rub my vulva and my breasts against him.  He says it's to make sure I'm a girl. I have to go get his shirts out of the dryer, I'll write more later.

We had a new director that had a very narcissistic bully attitude and caused two of our older long time coworkers to leave our department. This pervert made a few ugly remarks to me about my body and I gave me an idea.
I plotted and accepted a date with this corporate bully for drinks after work. As expected he got drunk and very touchy. As I walked him to his car under the pretext of a blow job, my 4 cousins waited for him in the parking lot.
He was hospitalized for three weeks in Jacobi hospital in the Bronx. I visited him and encouraged him to resign or he would be castrated. We never saw him again.
Our new director was sent by God himself and our department met all our goal including having one of our two former coworkers return to work with us. Sometimes you have to leave HR out of it.